| I've rarely been accused of over thinking a | | | | him not to use the gasoline to start the |
| situation. My "code of the west" mentality | | | | fire. Offers were made to run next door to |
| has been good to me through the years, | | | | get charcoal lighter to no avail. Joe was |
| rescuing me many times from the temptation of | | | | determined to inaugurate his grill the proper |
| unnecessary thinking! Unnecessary thinking | | | | way; with a large fire! He also assured |
| can ruin a perfectly good plan, but no | | | | everyone that he knew what he was doing! |
| thinking at all can be hazardous to your | | | | |
| health! A good case in point is a situation | | | | Joy was enjoying himself, being the star of |
| I witnessed last year. | | | | the show as it were. He upended the can of |
| | | | fuel over the charcoal and kept pouring even |
| One brilliantly blue afternoon in late spring | | | | after the briquettes had been thoroughly |
| my neighbor Joe was preparing for one of his | | | | soaked. Now came the moment of truth! He lit |
| famous cookouts. He was about to put his | | | | a match and with a dramatic flare, tossed it |
| brand new brick and mortar barbeque grill | | | | onto the charcoal! Whoooomp! |
| through its paces for the first time. A | | | | |
| beautiful charcoal grill, he had personally, | | | | Mortar is very porous and does not always |
| to the chagrin of the brick masons, | | | | adhere perfectly to a surface without leaving |
| supervised every detail of the project. It | | | | a small crack in the mortar joint between |
| was a gorgeous fireplace style grill with the | | | | bricks. When a liquid such as water, or in |
| chimney almost head high built of the same | | | | this case gasoline fills that crack, it will |
| brick that adorned his house. | | | | flow into the base of the structure, such as |
| | | | a barbeque grill. The vapors from the |
| The barbeque pit featured a curved flat black | | | | gasoline that had flowed into the grill did |
| steel hood for enclosed cooking; with a | | | | what gasoline vapors do when they come in |
| warming tray built into the side of the pit | | | | contact with a flame. The grill exploded! |
| to keep foods from getting cold while others | | | | |
| cooked longer. There was even a compartment | | | | Bricks and mortar blown into pieces, rained |
| built on the opposite side to house charcoal | | | | from the sky onto all of us who had witnessed |
| and lighter. He was understandably proud of | | | | the explosion! No one was hurt because most |
| the best barbeque grill in the neighborhood! | | | | of the crowd and moved safely away from Joe |
| | | | when they saw what he was about to do. Joe |
| Festivities began early with the neighbors | | | | was slightly injured by a fragment of the |
| arriving around 2:00 pm. By late afternoon | | | | grill grazing his forehead. Nothing serious! |
| many in the crowd were already feeling the | | | | |
| effects of the adult beverages supplied by | | | | His grill was a mess! A few seconds before, |
| the host, who was especially enjoying | | | | it was a beautiful example of workmanship; |
| himself. Everyone by now had grown tired of | | | | something to be proud of and enjoy for years |
| listening to an endless monolog by the host | | | | to come. Now it was just a mile of rocks! |
| about the virtues of his new grill. | | | | Joe had apparently never heard that in some |
| | | | cases, alcohol and gasoline don't mix! |
| The time had come to fire up the grill! | | | | Warning! Drinking and starting fires with |
| There was only one small problem. With all | | | | gasoline can kill you! Whether you're |
| the preparations he had made for the cookout, | | | | drinking adult beverages or not, do not use |
| Joe had forgotten charcoal lighter! Not to | | | | gasoline for a charcoal starter! |
| be detoured by such a small detail, he went | | | | |
| into the tool shed at the back of his yard | | | | My neighbor Joe has recovered from the |
| and brought back a large can of gasoline. | | | | disaster of last year. He is now making |
| After dumping a huge amount of charcoal into | | | | plans to build and even bigger charcoal |
| the bottom of the grill, he arranged it into | | | | cooker than the last one. From the size of |
| a perfect pyramid. The fire was supposed to | | | | the storage area in the barbeque pit, I doubt |
| burn more consistently this way Joe informed | | | | that he will ever run out of charcoal lighter |
| the crowd. | | | | again! |
| | | | |
| By now the neighbors had begun realized what | | | | Remember, friends don't let friends' barbeque |
| Joe was about to do and started yelling at | | | | drunk! |